Battle Girls – Time Paradox

Battle Girls – Time Paradox

BG2Yoshino Hide (known as Hideyoshi) is just your average teenager with a love of snacks and getting home from school. Knowing she has no hope of passing her upcoming history test, she foes into her local shrine for a last-minute desperate prayer. That’s when a blue light transports her into what looks to be Feudal Japan – only all the inhabitants, including the famous warlords, are all women! Taken in by one such famous warlord, Oda Nobunaga, Hideyoshi must now help her find all the pieces of the legendary Crimson Armour in order to conquer the land.

Transporting a character back in time to a slightly-altered alternate reality is certainly nothing new. It is a well-used plot device which I first saw in Fushigi Yugi and many other mangas and animes after that. It gets to the extent that you are waiting and hoping for a fresh element which transforms tired old hat into something new and watchable, but I can’t decide if Battle Girls ultimately achieved this or not. Perhaps originality was sought by making all the warlords in the 16th century women, but it took me a while to get over the silliness of this convention. ‘But where are all the men?‘ I kept silently thinking, regardless of anything else that was going on. I believe Hdeyoshi addressed this mystery and biology once, but it wasn’t actually elaborated on.

BG1

As the small group travel together across Feudal Japan there is the introduction to more names in Japanese history – Imagawa, Kenshin, Shingen and Ieyasu. Not only are they women, but the look identical to Hideyoshi’s friends and schoolteacher. Why? I’m not actually sure. Are all of her friends direct descendents of Japanese warlords? Unlikely, as how are they meant to be born without any men? I’m usually very accepting of alternate realities and nonsensical quirks, but I found so much about the fundamentals of Battle Girls hard to swallow that any achievement or realisations made by the characters fell short of any impact whatsoever.

BG3

The music and soundtracks are in no way memorable and even the action scenes appear lacklustre. This is Feudal Japan, and while I accept that Hideyoshi is ‘changing history’ by trying to avoid as much death as possible whilst battling others for the Crimson Armour, I just can’t accept that an adversary would go from hating a fighting Nobunaga to handing over their piece of the Crimson Armour, joining the warlord on her quest, to having fanservicing bath-play and indulging in Hideyoshi’s anachronistic schoolgirl trivialities. Even in the most farfetched dimensions, warmongers just don’t do that. Why make them fight at all? Why to have the woman who tells the best ghost-story get the armour? Even when travelling back to the 1500s with her teacher, Hideyoshi is still going to fail that history test.

BG4

As you can see, this one didn’t sit well with me. The set-up was good, but nothing was utilised. Silliness that wasn’t amusing, dialogue that wasn’t insightful, and a plot that was dead on it’s feet from the very beginning. Avoid.